Reflections of a 22 year old...

Its official, I'm not a college student, I'm not living at home, I'm not dating, I'm not an intern, I'm not a little kid, I'm not married....I'm growing up! Coming to all of these realizations has really been a hard road. I am a big kid and I wear big kid pants now. I pay my own bills, all of them, I live on my own, in my own apartment (which is a huge mess right now), I cook for myself, I clean for myself, I choose what I do. Now I know a lot of you have been doing this for awhile and for that I say "great job!" Its harder than it seems. Its a freeing and extra scary thing when you sit back and realize what you are doing. Hmmm.... I am glad that I am responsible enough to take care of myself but scared to death that I will screw it all up. God help me!

I heard a comment that put all my loneliness issues into perspective. A good friend of mine has been through some stuff in her life and she passed her wisdom on to me...she said "I know from experience that sometimes the loneliest times you could have are in a marriage where the person you are with is in the room and you feel completely alone." I pray God will be with my dating choices. I am offically starting to get to a point that I never thought I would ever get to, I'm almost scared of committment and marriage. Dont get me wrong, I'm not in a dating relationship but I see so many relationships that have ended around me and I wonder? How do people get to that point, how do you know you KNOW someone? This is about the time I think arranged marriages are a good idea, then again I would have been married off like 10 years ago. My mom and dad live for grandkids. Committment is such a big deal to me and rightly so I just wonder....will I be like my mom and just "know" or will God have to smack me in the head to tell me "this is the one!"

This birthday is making me realize that I am getting older and honestly has made me all reflective. You'd think I was turning 30 or 40! Ha ha. I thank God for my close friends both in Lousville (rachel, phoebe, monica, chandler, ross, joey, oh and josh, sarah, stephen, max, melissa) and my amazing friends from LCC (to many to name), my family (mom,dad, abbs, aus, zan, Aunt susie, grams), my coworkers (betsy, cami, dawn, dana) and all the other blessings I have encountered. I am thankful for the ways God works in my life and I pray that 23 will bring amazing things!